Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mother F&*%^&*#$@$!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning, as I was backing out of out parking spot, I hear a cruuuuunnnncccchhhh sound. With the 50 mile per hour winds this morning I figured I hit a trash can that blew behind the car. I wish. I gingerly stepped from the car and spotted a crushed paint can on the ground. Super. We have about 4 paint cans in our double wide parking spot (that sounds like trailer talk, right?) because we have yet to bring them to the waste facility (you cannot throw them away since they are toxic). Somehow, my neighbor pulled out all his paint cans and added them to the mix, thus there are about 10 paint cans looming at the edge of our parking spot. Want to come over? We are wicked classy over here.

But, I digress. Now, back to the F*&#ing paint can. I picked it up, lightly at first to test if it was full. It seemed empty so I began to carry it over to the pile-o-paint-cans. However, it peed on me. Dripping gray-tan paint all over the bottom of my dress pants, my foot and ballet flats. Being a warm day, I was not wearing any socks so the paint slathered right on my skin. Me and the paint are no longer friends. I was able to wipe it off, throw away my shoes and continue on my day. Now, my pants (expectantly) have hardened where the paint was. Super.

Serenity now.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Me and the paint are no longer friends." What about you and the neighbor?!?

Capitol Combat Sports said...

Look on the bright side:

1) those were not your dressiest shoes/pants.

2) it was a can of paint, not a land mine.

3) life is long and you have the rest of yours to figure out a way to get back at your neighbor.

Ben said...

Needless to say those paint cans will be heading to the plant ASAP. Regardless of who they originally belonged.

Anonymous said...

I believe even in Dc you're allowed to let the paint totally dry inside the can, put the top back on it, and throw it away in the regular trash.

Ben said...

Anon 11:39 -

You can get some stuff from the dc gov that hardens the paint for you. But, it has to be a certain kind. I should probably find that out, huh?

Injuries Obtained

  • Sprained Toe/Foot: 1
  • Blood Blisters: 2
  • Splinters under fingernail: 1
  • Bird Shit on me: 1
  • Eye Injuries: 3
  • Burns: 0
  • Falls off ladder: 0 (this is because we don't have a ladder yet)
  • Headaches: too many to itemize
  • Broken Bones: 0
  • Bandages Needed: 5
  • Electric Shocks: 2
  • Stiches: 0
  • Bruises: way too many